“Are you telling the truth about what you feel? What you know? Who you are?
Or, are you sugar coating the truth to yourself and others to avoid hurting their feelings and putting yourself on the spot?
When you do not tell the truth, the lie controls your life.”
“Whether or not you have children yourself
you are a parent to the next generation.
If we can only stop thinking of children as individual property
and think of them as the next generation
then we can realize, we all have a role to play.”
“Every relationship is for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
In all relationships we are giving and receiving,
so when what we came to give has been given,
or what we came to receive has been received,
the relationship is going to experience transition”
“Each one of us has lived through some devastation,
some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm,
when we look at each other we must say, I understand.
I understand how you feel because I have been there myself.
We must support each other and empathize with each other
because each of us is more alike than we are unalike.”
“You don’t owe your family affection if they are being abusive and treating you poorly. I know that it’s so difficult not to feel guilty for holding back that love. I know that there are people who will tell you that you should just grin and bear it because they’re family. People who will shame you for the way you feel.
People who will try to convince you that wanting to take care of yourself in this way is selfish and unjustified. But the truth is that it’s not your responsibility to be kind or loving to people who have consistently hurt and mistreated you — especially when these people continue to disregard your feelings, ignore your boundaries, and refuse to take responsibility for their behavior.
Just because the person hurting you is family doesn’t make them an exception. Choosing not to be affectionate with family who have abused or mistreated you doesn’t make you a bad person. It isn’t selfish or disrespectful. It’s a form of self-care. It’s about you honoring your feelings and holding people accountable for their abuse. It’s about you standing up for yourself and your needs. It’s about you making your mental health a priority.
So if getting distance from certain family members is what you need right now, or permanently, then you have every right to withhold your love and leave. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for the sake of maintaining a relationship.”